


dreams of your past

by kagako



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/strange fake
Genre: Character Death, Dreams, In regards to enkidu............, Kirei's POV kinda ?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:24:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5300057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagako/pseuds/kagako
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirei remembers the dream vividly. </p><p>He dreamt of a man with long, flowing hair, and a man in gold, standing side by side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dreams of your past

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is probably a Big ol mess. i got a lot of the pieces from gil's wiki and the actual tablets.
> 
> i also have this Big Thing about, what if kirei had dreamt of gil's past like kayneth did lancer, how waver did rider? and then i thought, "wow, kirei would say something about it, maybe to see how he'd react, and gil would get angry because, A Man This Vile Shouldn't Talk About My Equal Like That" it just honestly gets me goin. and then, kire would probably get confused because, "oh, did he really love another person? although he was such an equally vile king? had that man of clay truly change this golden king?" Really, again, it all just gets me goin.
> 
> ok, i've probably typed enough stuff in here. thank u and please enjoy.

Kirei remembers the dream vividly.

After all, it isn’t often he dreams.  It isn’t often he sleeps.

He dreamt of a man with long, flowing hair. The man was slight in stature, but even in the mist of his dreams Kirei could tell the man—the… _being_ —had the strength of something akin to the Gods, from the way he carried himself, from his humble, yet confident expression. Through eyes that weren’t his own, Kirei watched the man dance, his hair easily following the motion his sturdy legs guided him through. He was laughing, his eyes sparkling and faintly—just faintly, Kirei could hear a song and the strong heartbeat that surely kept that song alive.

Soon, another laugh mingled within the song.

“Encore, encore!” the new voice urged, the noise of clapping greeting Kirei’s ears.

“Oh?” the man said, and although he looked incredibly tired, Kirei could tell he was pleased. “My King, that was the second time.”

For a short moment, Kirei’s vision blurred—and now he stood before two men. The priest easily recognized the man that was dancing; now that the man was still in motion, Kirei noted how much taller he was then he had originally thought. A soft “ah” escaped his lips unconsciously as his eyes glided over to the other man—the new voice he had heard moments before.

 _Gilgamesh,_ Kirei thinks, his expression only ghosting over surprise. _I was… looking through his eyes?_

An irritated, strangely content sigh escaped Gilgamesh’s lips. “What is with all this ‘my king’ nonsense, huh?” he asks, arms folded across his chest as he takes a closer step. “Had I not told you, Enkidu? We are equals. You and I, we are the very same.”

“Oh, of course, my ki—“

“ _Ahem.”_

“—Gilgamesh.”

With a booming laugh, the king threw back his head. “Yes, that is more like it,” Gilgamesh praised, his eyes soft and his smile (uncharacteristically) sweet as he took another step towards Enkidu, hands reaching out to the other.

Kirei didn’t bat an eye when their lips touched.

*

In the next moment, the scenery shifted.

Gilgamesh was sitting on the floor of his bedchambers, his hands running along the mane of a lion. Enkidu sat next to him, his fingertips teasing the fur on the lion’s paws. Every now and then, those paw would twitch, causing Kirei to tense in anticipation—but those paws would stay planted on the floor, presumably out of undying trust.

“…to protect humanity. The people of Uruk,” Gilgamesh was saying, causing Kirei’s attention to shift. His expression was serious—eyebrows drawn, mouth set.

A fitting look for a King.

Then, he glanced at Enkidu. Kirei wasn’t surprised by the delicate way he gazed at Gilgamesh, or even the way his lips seemed to curve in a never-ending smile when he was beside the king. “You…” he started, tilting his head in what seemed like wonder. “…take a path of observation, do you not?”

The priest watched as Gilgamesh smiled—his teeth showing, but not in a snarl. _No,_ Kirei thought. _This… isn’t this man’s snarl. He… Gilgamesh is embarrassed._ “I… I supposed I do,” Gilgamesh agreed, an airy laugh escaping his mouth along with the words. He blinked a few times, sat up a little straighter. Then, he cleared his throat, and Gilgamesh chose his words carefully before he continued. “My people, they…”

Kirei isn’t sure how long he (and Enkidu) listened to Gilgamesh’s words, the building passion in his words and the way he would sometimes pause the grooming of the lion to not only speak with his mouth, but with his hands as well. The priest could feel the king’s blooming devotion for his people and the kingdom he ruled.

Enkidu had, too.

Excitement was just a sparkle in his eyes as Enkidu leaned forward, exclaiming, “Then I, too, shall be a tool for you to use!”

Immediately, Gilgamesh’s expression clouded. “No,” he told his companion, averting his eyes. “You are my friend. My equal. My partner. I shall not use you as a weapon—for you are a being with strength akin to mine. A weapon you are not, but beside me, as a warrior… you can be.”

When Enkidu gave a smile and a nod, the king seemed relieved.

*

Kirei watches Enkidu die in what seems like slow motion.

The priest accompanies them, unknowing, as they fight beasts, as Gilgamesh refuses a God in marriage. He watches Enkidu wake from a nightmare, his breathing labored and his eyes wide with shock—the man is frightened, Kirei can tell.

Scenes come and go—they seem to blur together. Kirei can pick out snippets of conversations. Enkidu’s anxious voice, Gilgamesh’s enraged shouts—he hears them all. Until, suddenly, he makes his way to an unfamiliar sound.

When his surroundings focus, Kirei can feel his eyebrows shoot up in slight surprise.

Gilgamesh is leaned over Enkidu’s crumbling body, his face tormented with anger. “It was I… I am the one that deserves this retribution, this horrid—“

A weak laugh interrupted the king. “Gilgamesh, I am but one of the many treasures in your collection. My friend, you will… find countless others. Greater than I, even. Though…” the dying man paused as he thought, his tears staining colorless cheeks. “Gilgamesh…”

The king’s face was stricken as he asked, “Why do you cry? Are you… are you finally regretting the foolishness in having stayed by my side, as my ever-present companion?”

“No,” Enkidu answers him simply, immediately, another weak laugh on his lips. “Who… who will understand you after I die? After I am gone, when my body crumbles? My friend… when I remember that you will be alone from now onwards, I cannot help but weep.”

Gilgamesh shook his head earnestly. “No,” he says, “You do have worth. It is you alone that has this worth. I… I hereby declare this to you, Enkidu…” the king pauses as he takes shaky breaths, fingers wrapping around cold hands. “In this entire world, only one shall be my friend. My equal. My partner. Thus, not for all eternity will your worth ever cease.”

With an airy laugh and a weak smile, Enkidu passed.

*

And the priest watches the king in his despair.

He watches as Gilgamesh screams, outraged and undone by the death of his friend—his companion, his lover—the man that changed him inside and out. Kirei watches the king rip clothes, as he breaks luxurious pieces, and as Gilgamesh yanks at his own hair. The priest’s eyes are empty as Gilgamesh paces Enkidu’s dead body, restless with grief. It doesn’t miss his attention that Gilgamesh only looks away, keeps an uncomfortable distance when maggots start crawling from Enkidu’s nose.

Kirei observes the way Gilgamesh reaches out to his people, proclaiming his grief with a hoarse voice, red eyes and stained cheeks. The priest’s eyes are glued to Gilgamesh as he voices the promise of a statue in his partner’s name to his people. Gilgamesh commands his people to build one, to honor Enkidu, his deeds and his fame.

His vision blurs again, and scenes morph together until finally, there’s a white light in his eyes.

*

Kirei wakes up, alone in his room.

_How… strange._

He gets out of bed, dons on his priest attire and murmurs his morning prayer as if it still matters. Quietly, he makes his way to the room where he killed Tokiomi, and Gilgamesh watched. The priest assumes that’s where he’d find the king.

Out of habit, Kirei knocks softly, muttering an “excuse me,” as he enters the room. He stops himself from shaking his head at himself when he hears a familiar voice.

“Old habits don’t die, huh, Kirei?” Gilgamesh asks with a tilt of his head, a playful smirk on his lips.

Kirei doesn’t respond—only stands silently, regarding the man before him. _No difference between the two king’s._ Before he could swallow the words, Kirei speaks casually. “You loved that man, didn’t you?”

If the priest wasn’t trained—if he hadn’t been so good at observation, he’d have probably missed the flash of surprise that made its way across Gilgamesh’s face. Or, the way he swallowed nothing but his own spit—or, even, the dilation of his pupils. “Pardon?” the king asks, but his voice is strained and Kirei knows he has him cornered. Knows he’s feigning innocence.

“Enkidu,” is all the priest says.

 A cold silence settles between the both of them before Kirei speaks again. “I saw the two of you in my dreams. Strange, I know. I hadn’t thought that a servant’s past could be seen through a master’s dreams. Perhaps it’s the Grails doing?” Kirei ponders aloud.

“Perhaps,” Gilgamesh says, dryly.

“He was dancing—Enkidu was,” Kirei continues, as if Gilgamesh hadn’t lived through it already. He licks his lips before he continues speaking, but in the back of his mind, he really doesn’t know why he’s even bothering to. “Your friend. Your companion. Your _equal._ That must be why you rejected Rider, isn’t that ri—“

The sound of glass breaking cuts Kirei off.

“Why do you speak?” Gilgamesh asks, a snarl within his pronunciation. His eyes seemed to glow, hot and angry, in the still darkness of the room.

“This is just mindless conversation, is it not?” Kirei replies, simply enough.

Suddenly, the priest can feel a wave of resentment in the room. _“Hold your tongue.”_

“Pardon?”

Kirei doesn’t expect Gilgamesh to get in his face—but there he is, his eyes wild and his breathing labored as he hisses out, “Do not rotten his name, priest.”

“Rotten his name, Gilgamesh?” Kirei repeats, his tone taking on a hint of ridicule. “I am just speaking.”

“Everything that’s coming from your mouth is rotten,” Gilgamesh spits out, grabbing a fist-full of the priest’s shirt. “Have you ever loved someone, Kirei? Surely you have, as a man of God,” he adds, his tone doubtful.

“I have never loved another person.”

Gilgamesh snorts at the answer he’s given, clicks his tongue before he pushes Kirei aside. The priest watches the king quietly, momentarily confused by Gilgamesh’s—and… really, his own—behavior.

_Is it truly possible to love another person so much?_

With his hand on the doorknob, Gilgamesh turns his head slightly. “Do not speak of him around me, Kirei. Do not soil his name with your unknowing tone,” he says seriously, then, a bit jokingly, “it’s great you’ve seen my reality and not the tablets, but there isn’t a reason to boast.” He shuts—slams—the door behind him.

Several minutes pass as Kirei stares at the door, his eyebrows drawn in confusion. He couldn’t comprehend Gilgamesh, the way he got so offended—or, how he could still love someone—man, woman, or otherworldly creature—that’s been dead for centuries.

 _Had he truly loved that Enkidu so much?_ He thought, pursing his lips in thought.

“How laughable,” Kirei said, to no one in particular.

**Author's Note:**

> i alSO have this thing about enkidu callin gil "my king" like, he changed him so much and enkidu saw that and........... GEH... the respect and love they have for each other kills me.  
> thank you for reading!


End file.
